I Didnt Realize Until Now :: Love Letters Dating Email Relationships

Dear Susan,I didnt realize until directly just how badly I mishandled our relationship. By being apart and not talking for some clipping now, I have quickly learned that you were everything I ever wanted and because I was so unnerved of losing you, I ended up chasing you away. It wasnt until recently that realized that instead of complaining about the time I didnt have with you, I should have cherished the time I did have. The time we had together was real and filled with affection.I was never alone when we were apart, because just as you were on my mind, I was on yours. It wasnt until now that I have realized how special it was to hear your voice even if it was just once a day, let alone several times a day.It wasnt until now that I have realized that it wasnt the late phone call for me to come over because you missed me, or to stay overnight that I miss so much. What I miss is the feeling behind the way you would stare at me and or kiss my hand while we were in the car. The way we looked into each others look and spoke without saying a word. The way you trusted me with your children and I trusted you with mine. The way you wrote I love you on a steamy window or mirror only to show up time after time for me to see when we were apart. The way you signed to me that you loved me or snuck a kiss or hug in while the kids werent watching. The way we joked that we were attached at the hip while fixing dinner or breakfast. The way we wrestled and tickled each other. Susie, I could go on and on but you know exactly what Im saying. Yes, its the little things I miss the most. The little things that I took for granted. The control I made to you is a promise that I will keep forever. You will always hold a special place in my heart. Even though Im dating here and there, I end up comparing them to you. Youve set the bar very high for me and thats a good thing because I refuse to settle for less than the measuring youve set. On that Wednesday (July 11th) when I return ed home and found your e-mail, it was the happiest Id been in weeks.